


Proud Parent

by IanPeriwinkle



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Bruce is a good parent, Damian is a jerk, Irey and Damian are friends, Teenage!Damian, kind of, pre-n52
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 19:31:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12464382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IanPeriwinkle/pseuds/IanPeriwinkle
Summary: It's Father's Day, and Dick has an amusing parent for Bruce.Damian is not amused.Edit: Additional chapter. Jason is not amused either.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [defying3reason](https://archiveofourown.org/users/defying3reason/gifts).



> I typed this on my phone at work and fought my autocorrect tooth and nail, so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors.

Damian never quite understood what the point of Father's Day was, and he absolutely didn't understand the custom of giving presents to people purely for being parents. 

But despite not understanding these things, and despite never quite knowing what to get his billionaire father for the holiday, Damian always managed somehow. 

Typically he would get Bruce a watch each year, Dick would give him something small, sentimental, and amusing, and Tim would provide him with another new coffee blend, because somehow they seemed to go through endless amounts of the beverage, despite Bruce being the only person living at the manor full-time who drank it.

Jason always got Bruce a present as well - every year without fail they would find a crowbar hidden in some nook or cranny, typically with a bloody, unwritten card attched. 

And after his gifts as Bruce Wayne, he would go on a joint patrol with Damian, Dick, and Tim. Jason joined them for these as well, though Damian couldn't for the life of him figure out how he knew where they were going to be every time.

This was how Father's Day went every year though, and for the most part all of the family was happy for things to remain organised in that manner. This never changed for the entirety of Damian's time with them, so the summer after he turned sixteen, he, Dick, and Tim all stayed the night, and woke up early to give Bruce his presents over breakfast before he was inevitably called off to work. 

Damian had chosen a watch this year that showed the time in up to five time zones (of the wearer's choosing), had three different alarms that could be set, and operated very nicely as a compass among other features. He had also purchased his father some matching cufflinks, just to shake things up a little bit. 

As per usual, he sat opposite Dick that morning, nursing his orange juice while Dick sipped at a coffee (loaded with sugar and milk). Tim also stared blearily over a cup of coffee from the opposite side of the table, seated next to Dick, though Damian had noted over the years that he always took it black. 

The three of them had their presents sitting on the table in front of them, Damian having put both of his into a small gift bag. Dick, who usually opted for bright blue wrapping, only had an envelope this year, and Damian caught himself wondering exactly what kind of a gift he would have gotten that was so small. He quickly rid himself of the thought, however. He didn't need to know - but besides which, he'd find out soon enough. 

The three of them sat in an awkward silence for another few minutes, occasionally interrupted by Alfred offering Dick and Tim more coffee (they'd each had over four cups that morning!) and refilling Damian's juice, before eventually Bruce emerged with a tired smile for his boys. 

"Good morning," he greeted, and held up his hand with Jason's present already found. 

"I see Todd's standard aren't up to his usual," Damian sneered as Dick got up to hug Bruce. 

"Oh, I actually think he meant for me to find it early this time," Bruce reached out to ruffle Damian's hair once Dick had sat down, then followed suit, "the card actually had words in it this time. It said 'I Hate You, Bruce' with a little picture of me being shot by Red Hood," he said this with a wistful smile. 

Dick and Tim burst into laughter, while Damian scoffed. 

"Anyway, shall we do as usual? Youngest to oldest?" He turned an expectant smile on Damian, who dutifully handed over the bag. 

He slid on the wristwatch and admired it with a smile before adjusting the settings to his liking. Though he didn't need cufflinks that day, he looked them over carefully before thanking Damian and moving on to Tim. He always tried to encourage any positive attention Damian gave people, even after six years of socialising the boy. 

Tim's present, of course, went over a treat. Alfred hurried off to brew a pot of it, and while he was gone Dick handed over his envelope. 

Bruce opened the card carefully and looked over whatever was inside with a smirk. "It's perfect," he told Dick. "I'll put it on the car this morning,"

So it was a car accessory? Damian leaned around to look over his fathers shoulder, but found himself blocked. 

"Sorry, Damian," Bruce smirked at him, "you can see it later." 

Damian pouted, but thought it better to not fight his father on this today. He'd see it eventually - it wasn't something important. 

* * *

 

Damian wouldn't admit it, but he spent most of the day stewing over the present while doing his schoolwork. He was expecting to come downstairs for dinner and be told, but his information on it came from a rather unexpected source. 

To maintain his public identity as the son of a playboy billionaire, Damian maintained a few social network accounts which he shared with a few choice friends and family. He rarely interacted with people on them, aside from exchanging frequent messages with Grayson over Facebook, so he was surprised when in the middle of his French studies his phone buzzed with a Twitter notification from Iris West II.

'Damian! Look!' It read, followed by a link that Damian couldn't see a preview for without opening his phone. 

He opened the app, half-expecting to call Iris with a lecture about keeping her passwords secure, but froze when he saw the title of the article. He read through it once. He read through it again. Then, he closed the article, typed out a quick thank you to Iris, and opened up Messenger to send an angry face emoji to Dick. 

With a withered glare, he closed his French textbook and left his study. He had business to attend to. 

* * *

 

"You crashed my car," Bruce's words weren't an accusation. They weren't judgemental at all. If anything, it seemed as if he were purely making an observation. 

"It was an accident," Damian deadpanned in response, rolling his eyes when Dick hid a "bullshit" behind a cough. 

Bruce looked his son over, a small glimmer of amusement in his gaze. "Of course it was," he smirked. 

Dick continued to berate Damian after Bruce moved on, yelling all sorts of nonsense about how much cars cost (they're billionaires. Who cares?), and how much danger he put himself in (he's Robin - son of motherfucking Batman. Who the fuck cares if he's in danger?). Damian for the most part tuned out, and just to irritate Dick more, opened his phone when he received another chime of his Twitter notification. 

'Omg! Did u really???' Iris had tweeted, along with another link.

He already knew what it would be about, but Damian opened the article to read it anyway.

_Bruce Wayne's car has been found mysteriously crashed off a highway outside of Gotham. The police have no suspects so far, however are urging any citizens with information to come forward. There is thought that it could be related to an earlier article, reporting that the billionaire's car had been adorned with a decal reading 'Proud Parent Of A Kid Who Is Sometimes A Jerk And That's Okay'._

 

 


	2. The Origin of the Crowbars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The origin of Jason’s traditional Father’s Day gift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since so many of you suggested it...
> 
> Written in about twenty minutes at work on my new phone - please excuse the shortness and any typos.

Ever since his resurrection, Bruce had struggled to keep track of Jason and his whereabouts. Most of what he heard was through Dick, who heard about it through Roy Harper (and how Dick hadn’t realised Bruce knew about them dating was beyond him). 

But every year there was one day that he knew for certain Jason was back in Gotham - Father’s Day. 

That first year, it had been a bit of a shock. Bruce had been going to shower before patrol in one of the Manor’s many,  _many_ bathrooms, and he’d stumbled upon a pool of blood dripping from an elderly Grandfather Clock. Inside, he’d found a crowbar coated in the blood of some lowly criminal, and a Father’s Day card covered in the same. There wasn’t anything written in it, but Bruce couldn’t help feeling a little touched that Jason had thought of him. 

* * *

 

Fast forward a few years, and the family had grown almost used to it. It had become something of a game to them, even. But it was always the same thing - the crowbar, obviously a nod to Jason’s death, and the card, never anything written in it, but always solemn and dripping wet and crimson. 

But then,  _that_ year had happened, and after Bruce had received Jason’s card with something finally written inside, and put Dick’s present on his car, and then had that car stolen and crashed by his youngest son, Jason decided to pay them a proper visit for once. 

That night, after joining them for patrol, Jason had actually come back to the manor with the group of vigilantes, and he settled on the couch with a smirk. 

“So you seriously crashed it?” He turned to Damian, “I’m impressed. Daddy’s boy did something naughty for once,” 

Damian scowled at him. “It was an accident,” he repeated, same as earlier that day.

”I don’t see why you got so worked up about it —“ he ignored Damian’s protest, “I mean, it was  _obviously_ about me.” 

There was a pause between the five men, and four of them turned to look at Dick, who looked quite flustered. 

“Well, um, I mean —“ he shrugged a little, and looked at Damian apologetically, “it was kind of about both of you.” 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I was chatting with defying3reason the other day, and I showed them a picture of this car decal. I still haven't decided whether it fits Jason or Damian more.


End file.
